Thursday, December 31, 2009
Before 12AM


2009 was more or less a disastrous year for me, as it is for many others.

The Good
1. SYF Gold with Honours
Mismatched schedules, poor attendance, late-night tiring practices, lack of confidence are synonymous with SYF this year. After much deliberation, we decided to actually enter SYF and compete for the coveted award. I think it was a highly intense period of time for me, not sure about the others though. I felt so much more unprepared than I ever was, and was much more stressed out as compared to A Levels. We fought (but not too well) and won, thankfully. We were able to hold on to our reputation, continue the legacy, and create a new starting point for DHSSHCO.

2. Malaysia Trip
Hmmm, the only overseas trip I made this year. It was with CO. A rather spooky experience at the hotel, but overall it was still quite an enjoyable trip. The experience of going on a trip as a senior really differs from being a junior, being under the wing of care of seniors. Still, it's good to be a senior, free from the routine of practices, and able to crash events for free. Hahaha.

3. Breakthrough in results
I seriously achieved a breakthrough in results this year, especially during CTs (AAAAB) It's like the kind of A Level results I would like to achieve! HAHA. Kind of unexpected because the papers didn't feel fabulous at all. And I also felt rather unprepared, as if I didn't study for the papers at all. Plus Mighty Migraine attacked during CTs and I had to battle it using my miraculous orange painkiller. CTs were such a blur to me, so the results felt really tyco. I fared slightly worse for Prelims though, and went downhill for A Levels. Sucks.

4. A Levels are FINALLY over!!! :)
Yeah, this is it. What I have been slogging for for the past 12 years. All culminating in this one examination, which I don't think I peaked at. Lol@myself. A Levels were bad...more below.

The Bad

1. Bad Health
OMG @ Migraine and Tinnitus. I think 2009 was an epic year because I made the most number of trips to the hospital in my entire life. I think it was during the SYF period when Mightly Migraine first attacked...followed by Tinnitus on my birthday. It was a pretty depressing period of time this year, because I kept thinking I had a brain tumour (something like acoustic neuroma) The migraine and tinnitus were disturbing, and I seeked many treatments for them, like ending up in A&E, seeking TCM treatment and doing acupuncture. But thank God for my friends who showed concern for me. I don't know how I came out from that dark period of my life, which I kept sleeping and emoing haha. But I did. They are still disturbing now, but less so because I'm more used to them being around :)

Also, I made an uncountable number of trips to the hospital for my dad who is in poor health now. So many valuable lessons learnt this year. I will always remember the skull guy (some will know of him) and constantly think and pray for him. When my life is bad, I will be thankful that it is not worse, and that some other person out there is leading a worse life than me, and that I'm already lucky for everything I have, even though it's not a lot as compared to other luckier people. :)

Very important conclusion at the end of 2009: Health is the most important asset in my life.

2. A Levels
Which were bad? GP, Econs, Chem. I'm not too sure about CSC. I will never forget how I felt after the traumatising Econs paper, even though the feeling feels very distant now. Just pray that all goes well now, and in March. At least they are all over now :) And I can rest my overstretched brain muscles.

Overall
I think 2009 was the year I felt the most lonely and scared in my whole life. I don't know. They are really scary feelings. I feel so much more pessimistic now than ever. And also anti-social. But 2009 also catalysed my maturing process. It's not exactly a good thing given that I'm given an earlier dosage of reality, but at least I'm all geared up for future setbacks, and even more pessimism. There aren't more 'Bad' events than 'Good' events that I listed, but the 'Bad' events just felt so much worse than the 'Good' events. I think they evoked more crazy emotions than the 'Good' events, and that they lasted for much longer periods in 2009, which made it such a bad year for me.

Well, at least 2009 is over. Phew.

As of 2009, I'm still frictionally unemployed, and is frantically sending out my resumes in the first hour of 2010. The last day of 2009 was actually quite a random day for me and I went out with really random people. Hahaha! Okay I'm so tired now shall send a few more resumes and go into dreamland later :)


11:47 PM
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Blood


The punctured site on my arm is still bleeding, and there is a small discoloration nearby :( I shall remove the bandage to check it out again later.

I'm so sleepy now :'(

The mozzies aren't really doing much help by sucking my blood now. So I'm freaking itchy everywhere argh D:


10:08 PM
Monday, December 21, 2009
What Happened?


Well, I ought to do something with my no-go life. :'( Haven't been doing anything constructive lately, not even watching dramas, not to say find a job. My drama watchlist done during A's has been woefully abandoned. Strangely, I'm not quite in the mood for any dramas now. I've been quite hooked onto playing Pokemon lately though. Everyday when I'm free I'll be playing Pokemon...except for now, because I'm quite sick of it since I'm already on my way to Victory Road v^.^v HAHA. Shall quickly finish my entire journey and do something with my pathetic life!

What to do now?
1. Learn how to do a resume, and do a resume
2. Source for jobs and earn money $$
3. Go to Intl Plaza. Maybe tomorrow, i.e. later?
4. Find more scholarship options :( And apply for them.
5. Do my Econs summary notes very very soon T.T
6. Pack my room!!! Messy as hell. Maybe later?
7. Wait patiently for everyone to come back from their holidays
8. Donate blood again after the 27th
9. Exercise
10. Read James Patterson's :)
11. Find volunteer opportunities
12. Pray, hope and believe

Why did the days and weeks pass so quickly?! Life after A's has been so boring, precisely because I have had nothing much to do. I should also stop sleeping at such insane hours (it's close to 2AM now), and waking up in the late morning.

In a few days' time, approximately 10 days actually, I can sum up this whole F-ed up year. :)


1:21 AM
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Wretched Life


My head's so F-ed up now!!!

2 days ago, I woke up in the morning and made a phone call on my bed. Then I leaned backwards instinctively, stupidly forgetting that there was a huge slab of concrete wall right behind me. BANG. The back of my head collided with the wall. The impact was large imo, probably the largest I've experienced in my whole life of bad accidents. I was highly distraught after the incident, putting an ice pack behind my head and constantly rubbing it. I was freaking scared that my skull was fractured or broken, and that my brain will get a bacterial infection and will swell. Or that I will die in my sleep!!! (I read these off the net) Think skull-boy. :(

It felt sore and slightly painful for the rest of the day. I think it was partially my own fragment of imagination?

Thankfully, my skull is intact, and so is my brain till this day.

Yet, I have been getting disturbing hints of migraine these few days. Maybe I'm too exhausted from camping at the hospital these few days. Argh FML seriously. Now I really miss lazing around at home :( I need to sleep!!!!! Like for 10 - 12 hours!!!! (And I have not finished YAB. I'm still at Ep13?! Epic fail.)

In hindsight, I hope I'll never get into an accident that will render me with a broken skull or somewhat paralysed somewhere :( If my life does come to this turning point someday, I think I will sign the AMD to end my misery.

Life is so fragile; we must all treasure it before anything unfortunate happens. Actually my life is sooooo much better than tons of people out there now. It's just that I always victimise myself in view of my current situation. In comparison, I'm already better off than many. Many would kill for my (boring) life.

On a lighter note, back to my Pokemon game now!!!!! Gonna catch some Pokemon at the Safari Zone now :)


11:15 PM
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Packing


I have reached a deadlock after days of playing Pokemon Emerald (LOLZ!!). I can't freaking find the Mirage Tower in the desert, even after talking to the ruins maniac. So damn annoying!!!

Anyway, I'm packing my room now. I'm FINALLY packing it after leaving it status quo, or even messier, for more than 2 weeks. Actually, my CSC notes are still in my school bag now. After I came home from CSC, which was on 1 Dec, I just dumped my bag in my room and went to use the computer. But I realised that I can't bear to throw all my notes away, i.e. lecture notes, tests, assignments. What if I need them next year, for retaking?!?!. Touchwood though. I will one day just throw all my notes into the recycling bin, without even sorting them out. When will that day be?

But I'm going to throw away thick foolscap pads of exercises from doing TYS and papers, and also some of my Year 5 Econs stuff. Think they are rather irrelevant and messy!!! Shall keep the important ones for easy facilitation of tuition - ahh!!!

Actually, I'm so glad that I'm finally free from the horrors of doing GP. A big 'HAHAHA' to the future generations doing GP plus the rest of the subjects. Your lives are going to be much harder than us due to academic inflation, as evident in Econs, GP and Chem P1 this year. Should I throw my GP notes into the recycling bin? I'll definitely be keeping SOT's. :)


12:11 PM
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Bad Mood


I'm not exactly in the best of moods right now. It's a mixture of emptiness, aimlessness and hopelessness.


11:45 PM
Monday, December 07, 2009
Whirlwind of a Day


Today I really rid myself of boredom. In fact, I had a crazy whirlwind of a day... Sigh everything that happened today completely made my shallow troubles truly shallow. Felicia, what are the true most important things in life? You need to prioritise and kill anything unimportant. And now I'm struggling to remember everything on my script. Okay I hope I have great fun tomorrow!!! :)


9:04 PM
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Note to self


It's just all a passing fad. 10 years later, you will be lambasting the silly thoughts you once had. You just need to get through this phase to expand your comfort zone. You can do this!!! Nothing like this will matter in the future. Not at all.


1:06 AM
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Clumsy


I accidentally added coffee to my udon with miso soup just now!!!! Oh my...

It didn't turn out horrible though, in terms of taste. And I have not gotten a diarrhoea (yet).


4:37 PM
Friday, December 04, 2009
Life is boring


If I could summarise life after A's in one word, it would be...

BORING.

Reasons why life now is boring:
1. I have been slacking and sleeping sufficiently during A's, which makes slacking seem so...undesirable now. Yes, it's very undesirable when you have too much of something. Ahh, I kind of miss studying. At least I have something to focus on, even though it's much more undesirable than slacking.
2. I HAVE A FREAKING DIFFICULT PRESENTATION TOPIC WHICH I STILL HAVE 0 IDEAS FOR. I NEED GOD, BUDDHA, ALLAH, WHATEVER SUPREME ENTITY TO SAVE ME!!!!! Like, predict the future for me or something? It's freaking 3 days away oh my gosh. Why is Tong not replying my message!!! :( I'm just going to 上吊θ‡ͺ杀 soon.
3. Worrying aside, I can't use the computer too much and for long hours because it makes my head hurt and throb like crazy (Migraine Ahoy!) I'm only at YAB episode 13. Slow progress given my drama-watching capabilities.
4. I have nothing to do on the computer except watching dramas. I just simply can't get the hang of playing annoying games!!!! I JUST WASN'T BORN WITH THE RIGHT GENES TO DO SO!!! I'm just going to abandon my Neopets account. Embrace Pokemon!!!
5. I'm frictionally unemployed.
6. My schedule is practically empty because of, busy people?! HOW BUSY IS EVERYONE NOW!!! When A's are already over?!

Well, I'm so distraught now. I'm going to pull my hair out!!!! And run amok and scream like crazy!!!! *faints*

Oh Singapore, Singapore, why are you so smart, and quick like a speedboat? You keep up with times so damn well that you have practically have all the future industries of growth within your grasp as your current and future strategies. If so, how can an 18 year-old person like me who has just managed to scrape A's with limited knowledge and abilities be able to suggest a new BOOMZ industry?

If nothing comes to my head tomorrow, I'll just stick my guts out and go ahead with my planned industry. So terribly SHINGZ.

ps. Thanks to all those I've terrorised these two days regarding the question!


10:46 PM


> : (

I swear my head is going to explode now from the long hours of watching YAB, and also from the presentation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH WTH :( :( :( Shall go live in self-denial now.


6:20 PM
Thursday, December 03, 2009


Wooooo I'm shortlisted for the second round :) :) :) That means more preparation!!!!!! And it's real preparation! Gotta do up an individual presentation. It's like a simulation of our beloved PW. Argh :( Can't maximise my slack life to the fullest now. Okay but I shall continue watching YAB now. Promise I will start doing my presentation later!!!

Anyway, I really suck at playing computer games!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T EVEN PLAY THE GAMES ON NEOPETS. Just get owned by all the games. Omg :( Why!

Ta!!!!!


11:42 AM
Wednesday, December 02, 2009


Ayeeeeeeee I love Tae Kyung and Jeremy <3 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Source: Dramabeans

:')


8:51 PM
Tuesday, December 01, 2009


LIBERATED!


8:46 PM
About
Felicia studied in Dunman High School, loves elmo, is a major drama addict and is a cake lover. She has quit coffee even though she loves it.



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skin by: Jane
inspiration: Kuribati